Williamsburg....Thug Town U.S.A.

sorry ari,

williamsburg is not brooklyn.

it MIGHT be brooklyns cousin in-law

or Brooklyn's distant cousin...

but more than likely it is Manhattans hipster daughter.

respectively the L ang G goes there.... the G being the most useless train in the MTA System and the L... why do u have to go into Manhattan from Brooklyn to catch a train that goes right back into Brooklyn -.- wtf.

We all know thats where all the Hipsters... or as i like to call them demi-permanent tourist, come to live when they want to seem cultured to their friends back in San Fran or wherever the hell they're from when they say 'yea i live in brooklyn' and they listen to their abstract hip hop subwoofer under ground shit and think they know something about where they live....

-_- no u don't. so chill.... seriously

you love New york?
I Love new york
Go love you're own frickin hometown Williamsburgers.

Im from Flatbush... im from Brooklyn. I have more respect for the demi permanent tourist who live in parkslope/prospect park than stupid williamsburg. they like negroes...so we like them.

so for the last time.... williamsburg... noooot brooklyn.

(none of this applies to Ari B. cuz i love her life)

Rx

Just slap a disclaimer on me... cuz i think im beginning t qualify for one

Instead of 'goals' i call new pursuits search and destroy... cuz thats exactly what i intend on doing... well not intentionally.

dear user,

please exercise caution while attempting to use this 'product' be advised that you may

get a giant headache, be physically harmed, become really confused, get kicked numerous places... numerous amounts of times, get screamed on, get emotionally hurt, become apologetic, become attached (no bueno), and still be confused, when i start to ignore you you're gonna be think im a bitch... but when i start to ignore you...

I wont care -.-

no one said i was a nice person... cuz im not.
(at least to people i dont like...especially to people i really dont like... openly to people i kinda dont like)

im a snarky asshole

real snarky

I equally insult everyone... except for fat people... cuz i feel bad insulting them being small and all i think they're about to start planning my bitter demise.

when it comes to tellin the truth i always tell you... but i have terrible time so while trying to help you i might hurt you. womp... but i expect the same thing in return... llike i always say 'im a big girl i can handle it'

I no longer believe in strong emotions... to me emotions are like landmines... any emotion especially good ones... its all smooth sailing until ur leg gets blown off and ur walking around like peg legged petey and everyone is all like...wtf happened to you ?

This is good for me... bad for the rest of mankind... im gunna just do me, which is like a cardinal sin? lol... karma... i guess ill still live by it or try to but i refuse to be in that place again where i'm more than expected to cry at least once for the whole day. Search and destroy... Is my motivation for operation

Locate Target-->Lock on target---> blow that motha up...mission accomplished. NEXT

coppin Jay-Z: if your having guy problems i feel bad for you son i got 99 problems but niggaz aint one =) - try me... cant fuck with people no more man...theyre distracting me from creating the big picture.

side effects may include nausea fatigue empty stomach, a broken nose, crushed ego, hurt feelings... im sorry. -_- not really

im kinda sensitive. i am... but was jesus sensitive? was Ghandi sensitive? ... they may have been-__- bad examples...

OOH I GOT ONE

malcolm X. Sensitive... hells no. he had guns and shit, yea back in his hey day he wore zoot suites and jumped and jived like a fairy but when it was time ti gets down with the get down... he got down. but then he inspired a whole bunch of people who were from america who wanted to rename themselves mutmbe and zanzibar and all that crap in the late 70's to early 1990's and shit was not cool
but by any means necessary that was malcolm x for ya.

wtf am i talking about... i think i just managed to confuse myself into going off tangent and prematurely ending this blog.

side effects of being me... talking too much about nothing,

He's Just Not That into You

the sub-titile to this is.... "and even if he was he's semi-retarded if not completely brain dead and completely not worth your time" this is for my favorite kind of girl in the world....

the stupid girl.

but every girl is an island... of stupid.

no one girl can be set aside as the stupid bitch cuz truthfully speaking at one point or another it happens to the best of us, the difference between a stupid girl and a REALLY stupid girl is that the stupid girl goes "hey im being stupid, that's not cool" while the REALLY stupid girl goes 'meh' and her brain continues to deteriorate faster than watching all 3 seasons of flavor of love in one sitting (that's alot of deterioration).

Ive seen the pillar and most potent non diluted form of stupidity...and douchebaggery yes its a word now here are some brief pointers.

If he Lies to you.

Cheats on you...once or multiple times

Tries to stick you on other people

Give you the i'm not ready for a relationship' shazzam

only expresses minor emotion towards you when his breath is coated in his favorite alcoholic beverage. i.e. bacardi, or vodka.

Ignores you

Make it so easy to let you go

Comes back to you and it feels like he only wants poon

tells his friends your a crazy bitch

vomits on your shoes and doesnt even say 'my bad'

openly flirts with other girls in front of you regardless of your feelings

dates a guy

Hits you -__-

then hes that entire title+subtitle and plusss a lousy piece of shit

and if you go back to these masters of douchebaggery you my friend fall into the subcategory of stupid, the VERY stupid. The girls who continuously get fucked in the ass by some foreign thing and their like 'why does this happen to me'? trying to play the victim...

heres why it happened.

cuz your stupid...

and if you are a victim...your a victim of your own stupidity. so that's ur fault kiddo.

females got through the suffrage movement, childbirth, living in a world where we still have to fight for people not to look at us as the weaker gender though by physical design we are, AND ancient Egypt... yea Egypt was effing intense.

your gonna let a little penis fuck up thousands of years of progress????
are you retarded?

get a fucking back bone.
stop being such a vagina.... you have one doesn't mean you have to be one.

fuck your feelings who gives a shit. No one. well they might but that's besides the point.

emotions dont do anything, they just complicate things...crying doesn't make you feel better... how does congestion, runny mascara, eyeliner, rudolph nose, and anxiety make you feel better.

whoever said that needs to be shanked in their life...repeatedly.

if he's semi-retarded if not completely brain dead and completely not worth your time... then run. like the wind, like a ninja in the darkness... (ninja assassin reference)

who wants to be with a brain dead mother fucker any ways?
they have problems controlling their saliva output.

so theyll drool all over your feet and wont even say ''my bad''

A.D.D./ 3 for 1/ The Death of Mr. Chew

While still reeling over the fact that i stepped in a HUGE PILE OF MYSTERY SHIT last night and got it all over my sneakers and had to clean it off with scalding hot water (have you ever smelled hot shit before... not a pleasant smell), clorox, and body wash. I now literally want to burn everything i own and i attempted to wipe myself off with clorox last night as well as every surface i touched.... Crazy???? WELL next time u step in shit and have to clean it off of your sneakers you tell me how you handled things.

Now i live with and come to a simple conclusion... I.

am a spazz... well not such a spazz moreover-so a nervous wreck.
.

But on a LIGHTER NOTE. there's this kid sitting across from me right now... Little does he know that i will eventually murder him...

You see this kid is a dick-face he's probably completely aware of this... So yesterday while i was having a meeting in my sororities meeting room, this guy....Lucas Chu .... Or Chew... however the fuck you want to spell it, was location scouting for a project that he was looking to shoot.

This absent minded Genius comes to my room...sees me... he knows me... I HAD CLASS WITH HIM about 2 hours ago that same day...Looks in the room...like we're suppose to get out??? The nerve of this cunt stick WE'VE HAD THAT ROOM FOR 17 YEARS!.

So upon realizing that he couldnt get this room him and his group walks away...

okay cool...

Then he Gave us the finger...

-_- are u fucking serious?!

Oooh it gets better THE STUPID BITCH GAVE US THE FINGER AND MY ROOM HAS GLASS WALLS!!!! ITS NOT LIKE I CAN'T FUCKING SEE HIM! I CAN CLEARLY SEE HIM GIVING US THE FINGER.

IF YOUR GONNA GIVE SOMEONE THE FINGER WHILE WALKING AWAY AT LEAST MAKE SURE THE PERSON CANT FUCKING SEE U... SHIT IF YOU WANT THEM TO SEE YOU STAY AT THE GLASS WALL...AND GIVE THEM THE FINGER.

So Lucas Chew... Fuck Yew...

Ur on my List.

Ode To hipsters.

I fucking hate hipsters.... subculture of non hipstery looking people dressing like hipsters with the common goal of being hip.

I STRONGLY dislike: Spending $250.00 at urban outfitters to look like you dug around in your moms wardrobe, or a thrifty fucking thrift store... Like i mean come on man! $98.00 for a polka dot leotard? really?!

Aannndd spending money like crazy at american apparel... $21.00 for a plain white tee that i can get at some other popular store for $4.50? Yea i understand no sweatshops made with american pride in california... Bunch of mexicans live in california right? Exactly!!! Same difference you're not fooling anyone but the hipsters that buy your plain shit AMERICAN APPAREL.

Or Guys with ball crunchingly painful looking tight ass skinny jeans... I understand you wanna show off the ass you dont have.... all is good and well but shit.


And the not bathing thing/having presentable hair thing ... If you're going to spend $250.00 at some ridiculous ass store, you should at least smell/look like $75.00. I make no priomises cuz i can look as shitty as i want... I dont spend over 100.00 on clothes. So suck on it.

AND THE MUSIC: SO ive heard animal collective...

Verdict: they suck ass.... what the fuck is that shit? Do hipsters do a shit load of drugs? because that is the only way i can imagine anyone liking the heap of shit that is animal collective, i'll admit... Tikwid.. Great Song, everything else, no audible rhythm form grating music that never ends and when it ends ends abruptly... Its like the equivalent of a homeless guy shoving you in the street then disappearing right infront of your face in an i dream of jeanie kind of way... It seriously makes you go what the fuck!?... CRAP. Unless your fucked up one some illegal
substance, sorry boo.


shit shit shit shit shit FUCKING SHIT!!!!! (and you know it.)


But all hipster music is created equal.... abstract abstract abstract and DOES NOT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE, just like their financial spending choices on clothing. Music that is only audible through being in the zone...

by in the zone i mean on the zone...

and by on the zone i mean...

on drugs.

Last but not least is their Denial.... Omg. Call a hipster a hipster and they will fucking gut you...

Like seriously. Murder your ass.

I dont understand... If you look like a hipster (Which will run you $250.00)
Smell like a hipster (which will run you... nothing but your not gonna be bathing for the next 2 days)
And listen to Shitty Animal Collective.... I mean Music Like a Hpister...

The you are in fact a hipster.... Dont argue it... fight it... Just embrace it.

You suck.


For more information on these -_-people... Please Visit www.lookatthisfuckinghipster.com