Sunday, December 12, 2010

Safe Keeping.

This is a poem i wrote... Wrote it in another language because i think it'll sound prettier lol.

Ho dato il mio cuore a voi.
Si allontanò, mantenendolo sicuro nella tasca posteriore dei pantaloni.
Su un tipo educato e vicino al gesto amichevole
Chiedo di nuovo.
Voi ridete, dico di no, continuare a camminare.
Mentre nella tasca posteriore dei pantaloni si pensa che è sicuro.
Non lo è.
Quando ti siedi accanto a lei si schiaccia.
Quando gettate i vostri indumenti a terra
la velocità che le fratture
E quando qualcuno lo tira fuori di tasca
E si chiede ... "che cosa è questo"
Si rompe definitivamente.
Si stanno distruggendo la mia proprietà.
Questo io non apprezzo.
non è il mio cuore abbastanza buono da indossare al collo
troppo tenerlo vicino a te
di non tenere una cosa fragile in un posto così sconsiderato?
Perché se non lo è.
Si prega di restituire a me immediatamente.
Invece di dire che ti terrà al sicuro.
Perché io sono meglio a mantenere le mie cose sicure
di quello che sarà mai


Translation:

I gave my heart to you.
You walked away, keeping it safe in your back pocket.
Out of a kind polite and close to friendly gesture
I ask for it back.
You laugh, say no, continue walking.
While in your back pocket you think it is safe.
It is not.
When you sit down next to her you squeeze it.
When you throw your garments to the floor
the velocity fractures it
And when someone takes it out of your pocket
And asks you..."what is this"
It finally breaks.
You are destroying my property.
This I do not appreciate.
is my heart not good enough to wear around your neck
too keep it close to you
to not keep such a fragile thing in such a reckless spot?
Because if it is not.
Please return it to me immediately.
Instead of telling me you will keep it safe.
Because i'm better at keeping my own things safe
than you will ever be

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Transit Alternatives for the Modern New yorker.

With the constant rising price of gas and the continuous ass and wallet rape-age the MTA issues to its riders in the form of a new years present every year I have come up with 5 simple transit solutions that are or will be available to us in the near to not so distant future.

Bicycles: (and if you never learned to ride one...shoot yourself. I had my best friend teach me for 2 weeks in a hallway in what is supposed to be the projects when i was 11... if i can learn anyone can but thats besides the point) New york is already fat... wouldn't it a. Help with exercise b.saving the environment since everyone is so OBSESSED with being "green". Look, a decent bike cost about $400-$1,000+ but guess what by 2011 youll be spending about $99 for 90 rides on an 'unlimited' metro card or some shit...meaning in about 4 months tops youll be spending about $400...are you aware that it only takes .75 cents to fill your bike full of air... Now the down side of this solution is that you wont be able to get too far unless you have thighs of steel considering many of you dont... this brings us to option b.

Vespas: The vehicle of the casual dork who think they're in italy. With a vespa, you get 75 miles per gallon hold up to 2.4 gallons of gas anyway, and they go anywhere from 39-80 mph. Maximum speed... considering the legal speed rate in Nyc IS 30mph... it would make sense to get one, it would make you less able to get a ticket for speeding...anyways what cop will stop someone in a vespa...they'll probably laugh at you for riding one around... BUT if you get one thats black, you'll look bad ass...they'd probably even mistake it for a motorcycle... for 2 seconds until they realize its a vespa, and then continue laughing at you.

Option c... is very simple, because i havent covered the problem of those pesky bridges and tunnels. Which the MTA is also ass tapping everyone on. to go under it?.... subway ($$$) to travel on it... Tolls ($$$)...so how about getting over it?!?!?!.

Jet Packs: come on they cant charge you if they cant reach you... alright maybe theres a risk of your Jet pack combusting and you meeting a fiery death over the Hudson, you may even get hit by a commercial plane or a news ch. 7 helicopter, but if you manage to safely conduct this trip the view is beautiful...Just remember dont go to high, at a certain altitude you're no longer able to breath and you miiight just suffocate.

Hovering/Flying Cars: A safer alternative to the jetpack....so if you do get hit by a plane/news channel 7 copter, you'd at least have a chance to to note how stupid you were for texting and flying when theres shit like planes in the air before you explode... -_- but you still wouldnt have to pay for Fares bridges and tunnels... A risk you'd have to take.

of course this is new york. they'd find a way to make you pay for sky use in about 2 weeks-1 month after this shit got put into place. Which leads me to option D... or E.

Tubes: you know like the ones in futurama where they suck you in and take you to your destination. only problem would be....ever imagine hitting a speeding person going at 40mph and your going at the same speed... whip-lash like a mother fucker for one... and a really big mess to clean up x_x



Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Ninja Manifesto

the other day some wavy ass dude asked e a question....

why are you a ninja? -_- because if you weren't aware.... I AM a ninja. but at makes me a ninja...

im not asian.
i dont dress in black
i dont do acrobatic shit...well a little bit
and if i killed people...you still wouldnt know.
I DO like playing with sharp objects. ex. knives, swords, knives.
I AM a stealth ass person no doubt about that.... i creep up on myself sometimes its kind of scary.

but here is why im a ninja.

No one really knows who i am... and if you do know me, theres a good chance you still dont.
when you first see me and you'll think one of two things
#1: What a bitch
#2: shes so perky and lively

...ill tell you one thing... im not really any of those things, but you wouldnt really notice.
and after you do get to know me, you'll be ale to kind of figure me out... a little...but still? not that much...trust me on that.
So heres a ball of potential, and mystery floating around with the world unknowing of what it's capable of.
Until its too late of couse... and then your left scratching your head like....wtf just happened.
this is applicable in all categories: School, business, life...
you'll never see what i have in store, you'll never see me comin.
and thats the best way to be.... ninja. the only wayto be. ;)